ODW: Thursday, February 15, 2007

12:41 am
To be quite honest…

I do not really believe in Valentine’s Day.

Why should it be that one day of the year is set aside to say “I love you”? Since when does “I love you” require a special occasion? Why do people make an effort to show they care only one day in three hundred and sixty-five? And then after, it does not matter anymore.

Why can you not show your love on any other day of the year? Do you really need a special day to tell your someone that you care? Should not “I love you” be said at any occasion? Should you not show someone you care, everyday?

You do not need a special day set aside for such things. You should live everyday full of life and love, not just one day.

Valentine’s Day is just a corporate holiday, do not get suckered into it.

Although, chocolate never really hurt anyone, it is appropriate that it should be restricted to a few days out of the year. However, flowers should not! Couples should give each other flowers any day, just because, it is more romantic that way anyway.

That is all.

Confession .741

I have a troubled time with follow-through on the things I say I’m going to do.
I inherited this from my parents, who never did what they said they were going to do.
I try to improve myself on this front, and in doing so, make sure other people do the things they say they’re going to do, hopefully thus inspiring myself to do the same.

ODW: Thursday, January 28, 2010

• 8:10 am
• BME mumbo jumbo
• sitting in an unfamiliar lecture hall
• wanting more, just more

I want someone who understands me. I mean just behaves the way I do. Believes in the same things I do, about everything. Like the way I need to walk with a purpose, with a clear goal. Or someone who understands the significance of strangers, or rather the lack thereof. Someone who won’t tell me I embarrass them, but rather I enhance their daily life, with a new adventure, a new story to tell. I want someone who’d rather be awake, but still appreciate the beauty of sleep.
I am hungry. I have noticed my mouth has gotten dirtier. We must change this. We must be a lady. It is such a beautiful day outside. I want to have a picnic. I don’t think I have ever had a genuine picnic. Well at least the kind of picnic I always imagined in my mind. Complete with blanket and wicker basket filled with food and strawberry wine. Some place in a grassy, bright-sunlit, area near a bubbling brook. Okay, maybe my picture of a picnic is a bit much, but a girl can certainly have her standards.
When M was here, we had a conversation the night she slept over, about N. Immediately, as I brought him up, she opened right away, already overwrought in emotion as apparent in her wavering voice. And you know who she reminded me of? Me. Back in the aftermath of my loves. She loved him. Just like I loved them. At the beginning I was hoping everyone would feel this way because I knew they would have to feel that way eventually, might as well feel that way early to get it done and over with. But then when I felt that same disparity a second time, I did not wish it upon anyone else if I could help it, most of all my best friends. They should  never have to feel the pangs of love. What lesson does it teach but that life and love itself mean nothing? M is feeling the exact same way I did, asking herself the exact same questions. Why? What’s wrong with me? Where did I go wrong? Did he ever even love  me? Coming to the same conclusion, if you really love soemone, you never stop, or you never really loved them at all. And I told her all the things someone I wish could have told me in my time of need: cry, let it out, it’s okay. It’s okay you feel this way, it’s okay that you miss him, it’s okay that you still want him. Feel what you feel, but don’t let him see you cry. Because someday, you’ll find, he doesn’t mean a thing. And that day, when it comes, when, not if, will be bittersweet.